Go Kart Club of Victoria – Port Melbourne  – 13/8/2016

Hi there.  Jimmy’s media officer here.  Rather than Jim’s mechanic doing this work, I’m filing the report for Jimmy’s race, for a number of different reasons.

The first is it gives me an opportunity to announce that Jimmy has been given an opportunity in a new racing team.  Jim has joined WIFA racing and will be racing in the new EvoKart.  More on this in a future update.

Secondly, Jim was operating in stealth mode in Victoria, testing the new kart and seeing how things were going.  There were a couple of issues at the race meeting, and Jim’s mechanic has been suspended pending a full review of operations.

The race took place at the the Go Kart Club of Victoria, or as everyone seems to call it “Todd Road”.

I have obtained a transcript of the operational review, which I’m releasing here, mainly for embarrassment value.

Jimmy Piszcyk Racing Review – GKV City of Melbourne Titles 15/8/2016

Personnel Present:

Mr X – President, Jimmy Piszcyk Racing

JP – Head Mechanic, Jimmy Piszcyk Racing

Jimmy – Driver, Jimmy Piszcyk Racing

Supportive Dave – Tech Support, WIFA Racing

Mr X:  So what the *BLEEP* happened?

JP:  Well, we got there, and Jim had never been to the track, so he was always going to be a bit slower in the first session.

Mr X:  No *BLEEP* Sherlock.  Especially when some *BLEEPITY* *BLEEPING* *BLEEP* puts him out on slicks instead of wets.

Supportive Dave:  Sometimes slicks will work.  It’s an honest mistake first time at the track.  He did OK in the next practice session, improved his times a fair bit.  And he did manage to qualify 26 out of a field of 36 in a new kart at a new track.

Mr X:  Oh*BLEEP* me.

Supportive Dave:  In heat 1, Jim got a pretty good start, and worked his way up to finish in 18th.  In heat 2, he got up to 23rd.

Mr X:  Heat 3 – that’s when the *BLEEPING* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* wheels fell off, isn’t it?

Supportive Dave:  Well, in JP’s defence, everyone can miss a wheel nut once in a while…

JP:  Hey!  Now wait a minute, the wheels didn’t fall off, they were just on backwards.  Oh, forget I said that…

Mr X:  What *BLEEPING* *BLEEP* *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*?

Supportive Dave:  The tyres are directional, so they need to be put on a specific way…

Mr X:  I *BLEEP*  know all that.  How do you *BLEEPITY* *BLEEPING* *BLEEP* get it wrong?

Supportive Dave:  Well, it helps if you are a moron.

JP:  That’s not very supportive.  Jim still managed to finish in 28th.

Mr X:  28th!  Imagine how he could have gone if his *BLEEPING* *BLEEP* tyres were facing the right *BLEEPING* way!

JP:  Jim got a great start in the final.  He missed the accident at turn 1, then drove around the accident at turn 3 and was up fairly high in the field.  Unfortunately, he had take evasive action onto the  grass and spun, which put him to the back of of the field, and he finished in 28th.

Mr X:  Jim – How did the *BLEEPING* kart *BLEEPING* feel over the *BLEEPITY* weekend?

Jimmy:  It was good on Saturday, and it was getting quicker and quicker.  Then *BLEEPING* *BLEEPING* mechanicking so *BLEEPITY*, and the kart wasn’t as good.  Why are you “BLEEPING” me?  I’m 9 years old, and as far as my parents are aware, I don’t know any swear words.

Supportive Dave:  It’s OK Jim, we are pretty sure we know what caused the loss of pace.  Should be sorted now…

Mr X:  I’ve heard *BLEEP* enough.  All of you out of *BLEEPING* *BLEEP* sight…

— End of Transcript —

Jim would like to thank EvoKart Australia and WIFA Racing, for the opportunity to try out the new kart.  Also, many thanks to Dave from WIFA Racing for his help over the weekend, and especially for all the help the following Monday to help figure out what went wrong.